One of the many unfortunate truths of OCD is that it tends to go after the things we really care about, including our faith and belief systems. We call this scrupulosity OCD. Scrupulosity can show up in many different forms in every faith or belief system (even atheism!).
One way it can show up is in prayer. I’d bet that we’ve all said rote prayers at some point in our lives (thankyougodforthisfoodamen). And I’m sure we’ve all cried out to God in desperate moments – times of heightened anxiety, in the face of a scary diagnosis, for the gift of a family, for a loved one in crisis. In times of contemplative prayer, we connect with God, meditate on his word, and sit in his presence. These are all typical experiences of prayer. God wants to connect with us and be in relationship with us, whether it’s saying a quick word of thanks for our food before our wiggly toddler starts wandering from the table, hearing our deepest desires and greatest fears, or sitting with us in silence.
Scrupulosity can hijack this process by telling us all sorts of lies about prayer: “If you just prayed the right way, you’re loved one with cancer will be healed.” “You must say [this specific prayer] in order for [something good to happen][something bad to not happen].” “If you don’t pray this exact right way, you will [experience some kind of punishment].” These are just a few examples, but compulsory prayer can take a variety of forms.
In order to determine if the prayer is compulsory or symptomatic of scrupulosity, we have to drill down to the core fear of what we believe will happen if we don’t pray in the way our fear is demanding. Then, we address that fear through exposure and prevent the act of compulsory prayer by refusing to engage with scrupulosity’s insistent that we pray in a specific manner.
As Christians, we have hope in the fact that our salvation is dependent on our reliance upon God’s grace, and not our own actions—which includes how we pray. Yes, we have instruction from Jesus on how to pray in the Lord’s Prayer, but we also know that when we don’t know what to pray for, “the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” (Romans 8:26-27). We have assurance of our faith through God’s grace, and therefore, we can acknowledge when OCD is telling lies about the manner in which we pray.
