I’ve talked to many clients (and friends and loved ones) who have lamented that they didn’t pay closer attention to potential red flags early in a dating relationship. At the end of the relationship or after the relationship is already ended, they report feeling stupid for continuing the relationship, ignoring or downplaying behavior that ended …
“Attached” Review
This month, I’m reviewing the book, “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love” by Amire Levine, M.D. and Rachel Heller, M.A. I picked this book up at the suggestion of a couple of clients who read it and reported they saw so much of themselves and their …
Evidenced-Based Christian Counseling
Recently, I was chatting with some friends about our individual experiences in therapy. One of my friends asked me how she could find a Christian counselor who would give her more direction than what she had already tried to address her anxiety, like, “just pray about it” or “read this Bible verse.” She wanted feedback …
Why Emotions Matter
I recently listened to Dr. Curt Thompson’s podcast, “NeuroFaith,” where he interviewed Jon and Tristen Collins about their new book called, “Why Emotions Matter.” Jon shared his experience growing up in the church, where he learned that emotions are more of a liability than an asset. I resonated with this, as it touched on parts …
Book Review: “She Deserves Better”
“She Deserves Better” by Sheila Wray Gregoire, with Rebecca Gregoire Lindenback and Joanna Sawatsky I’m not going to lie, I picked up this book for personal and professional reasons. Like a lot (most?) of millennial women who grew up in the peak of purity culture, I was certainly taught that boys are “visual in nature” …
Fear is a Liar?
There’s a song on Christian radio right now called “Fear is a Liar.” I’ve heard this phrase used in other Christian contexts before, and if you’re a millennial like me, you may remember those popular t-shirts and binder stickers in middle school emblazoned with the slogan, “NO FEAR.” Whenever I hear this phrase from Christians, …
Feelings Come and Go. Values are Forever.
I am a huge fan of feelings. I think they are important and they tell us things. By no means do I think we should ignore them. However, I think we need to consider a few things before we make decisions based off of how we’re feeling. For example, am I taking a particular action …
Why “Go With Your Gut” is Hard to Hear When You Have Anxiety
“Just go with your gut.” Has anyone ever told you this when you’ve felt anxious or unsure of what to do? I don’t know about you, but for me, hearing this has never helped decrease my anxiety. I do believe that God has gifted us with intuition. Unfortunately, anxiety can hijack my intuition, and I …
Living & Loving After Intimate Betrayal
“Living & Loving after Betrayal: How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment” by Steven Stosny, PhD Dr. Stosny describes how intimate betrayal—be it through deceit, infidelity, or emotional abuse—impacts our ability to heal, live according to our deepest values, and fully engage in important relationships. He seeks to offer a path …
What do we mean when we say we want a man who will “lead” in our relationship?
When I talk to Christian women about qualities they want in a partner, I will often hear that they want someone who is a leader and will lead their family well. Leadership is an admirable quality to desire in a partner, but it can also—unfortunately—be used to manipulate and silence one partner in the relationship. …