I’ve talked to many clients (and friends and loved ones) who have lamented that they didn’t pay closer attention to potential red flags early in a dating relationship. At the end of the relationship or after the relationship is already ended, they report feeling stupid for continuing the relationship, ignoring or downplaying behavior that ended …
Singleness
“Attached” Review
This month, I’m reviewing the book, “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love” by Amire Levine, M.D. and Rachel Heller, M.A. I picked this book up at the suggestion of a couple of clients who read it and reported they saw so much of themselves and their …
Book Review: “She Deserves Better”
“She Deserves Better” by Sheila Wray Gregoire, with Rebecca Gregoire Lindenback and Joanna Sawatsky I’m not going to lie, I picked up this book for personal and professional reasons. Like a lot (most?) of millennial women who grew up in the peak of purity culture, I was certainly taught that boys are “visual in nature” …
Living & Loving After Intimate Betrayal
“Living & Loving after Betrayal: How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment” by Steven Stosny, PhD Dr. Stosny describes how intimate betrayal—be it through deceit, infidelity, or emotional abuse—impacts our ability to heal, live according to our deepest values, and fully engage in important relationships. He seeks to offer a path …
What do we mean when we say we want a man who will “lead” in our relationship?
When I talk to Christian women about qualities they want in a partner, I will often hear that they want someone who is a leader and will lead their family well. Leadership is an admirable quality to desire in a partner, but it can also—unfortunately—be used to manipulate and silence one partner in the relationship. …
Rethinking Fear and Faith
Feeling anxious is not synonymous with distrust or relying on our own strength. Actually, allowing ourselves to feel our anxiety (or any difficult emotion) leads us to acknowledging our need for God and opens us up to receive His care and kindness. In allowing ourselves to feel our difficult feelings, we trust that God is …
Imposter Syndrome
Not a day passes without me looking at my children—at least once—and thinking, “How am I a mom?” Obviously, I know how I’m a mom, but I am often flabbergasted by the enormous task I’ve been given of raising two small humans. From what I’ve heard from other moms, I think it’s pretty common to be told …
Book Review: On Getting Out of Bed
“On Getting Out of Bed: The Burden & Gift of Living”by Alan Noble Wow. This was a favorite read of mine this year. I just finished it for the second time. Isn’t it a beautiful cover?! Don’t let the brevity of the book (104 pages) fool you – this book is full of life-changing, inspiring …
Relationship doubts: are they my own insecurities or a result of my partner’s actions?
Relationships serve as a landscape in which our insecurities and our worst qualities can surface. I believe this phenomenon happens in both safe/healthy and unsafe/unhealthy relationships. For many (if not all) of us, we often fear being abandoned or deeply wounded. If we are in a safe, healthy, committed relationship, these insecurities can be assuaged …
Struggling with Singleness During the Holidays
I’ve put off writing about the topic of singleness for a long time. It’s something I’ve felt I should write about for a while. When I saw that it was on my schedule to write about this week, I thought, “Hmm, maybe I’ll write about something else instead.” But I decided to do what I’m …