Breaking up sucks. Even if you know it’s the right thing or needs to happen or the relationship is not healthy. It still sucks. I remember the last time I broke up with someone. It was not a healthy relationship. After the break-up conversation, I remember feeling relieved, like a weight had been lifted off …
Relationships
What If I Love My Partner, But Not Their Family?
It’s the holiday season, and if you’re in a serious relationship, there’s a good chance you’ll be interacting with your partner’s family. Soooo…what if you don’t like them? Or they’re difficult to be around? And what does it mean for the future of your relationship if you don’t like them? Some things to keep in …
“I Feel Stupid For Not Noticing This Sooner”
I’ve talked to many clients (and friends and loved ones) who have lamented that they didn’t pay closer attention to potential red flags early in a dating relationship. At the end of the relationship or after the relationship is already ended, they report feeling stupid for continuing the relationship, ignoring or downplaying behavior that ended …
“Attached” Review
This month, I’m reviewing the book, “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love” by Amire Levine, M.D. and Rachel Heller, M.A. I picked this book up at the suggestion of a couple of clients who read it and reported they saw so much of themselves and their …
Book Review: “She Deserves Better”
“She Deserves Better” by Sheila Wray Gregoire, with Rebecca Gregoire Lindenback and Joanna Sawatsky I’m not going to lie, I picked up this book for personal and professional reasons. Like a lot (most?) of millennial women who grew up in the peak of purity culture, I was certainly taught that boys are “visual in nature” …
Living & Loving After Intimate Betrayal
“Living & Loving after Betrayal: How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment” by Steven Stosny, PhD Dr. Stosny describes how intimate betrayal—be it through deceit, infidelity, or emotional abuse—impacts our ability to heal, live according to our deepest values, and fully engage in important relationships. He seeks to offer a path …
What do we mean when we say we want a man who will “lead” in our relationship?
When I talk to Christian women about qualities they want in a partner, I will often hear that they want someone who is a leader and will lead their family well. Leadership is an admirable quality to desire in a partner, but it can also—unfortunately—be used to manipulate and silence one partner in the relationship. …
Rethinking Fear and Faith
Feeling anxious is not synonymous with distrust or relying on our own strength. Actually, allowing ourselves to feel our anxiety (or any difficult emotion) leads us to acknowledging our need for God and opens us up to receive His care and kindness. In allowing ourselves to feel our difficult feelings, we trust that God is …
Rethinking Fear and Faith
In conversations with loved ones and clients about their anxiety, I’ve often heard some variation of the phrase: “I know I just need to the Lord with this.” And I never quite know how to respond. On the one hand, yes, we are called to trust the Lord and on the other hand, I know …
Imposter Syndrome
Not a day passes without me looking at my children—at least once—and thinking, “How am I a mom?” Obviously, I know how I’m a mom, but I am often flabbergasted by the enormous task I’ve been given of raising two small humans. From what I’ve heard from other moms, I think it’s pretty common to be told …