So, you’ve decided to go to counseling.

Now what?

First of all, going to counseling—while worthwhile and fruitful—can be a challenging endeavor, so congratulations on having the courage to initiate the journey!

You’ve not only made the decision to embark on the incredible journey of getting to know yourself better and/or [insert goal for therapy here], but now you find yourself on the brink of making an investment of both your time and money – both precious commodities. You want to make sure your investment is a good one!

How do you know when you’ve found the right counselor for you?

When people are looking for a therapist, I recommend they view the process the same way they would if they were hiring someone in their workplace because, essentially, they are hiring the therapist. I think a lot of times clients come to the first session wondering what the therapist will think of them, which could impact if and how they evaluate the therapist being a good fit for them. When potential new clients call me, I offer a free, 15-minute phone conversation to hear about what they’re looking for and to tell them about how I work so they’re informed. Even at the first session, I encourage them to let me know if something doesn’t feel right, and that I’d be happy to refer them somewhere else if need be. Essentially, the therapeutic relationship is a relationship, and if it’s not right for you, you can end it.

It could take a little while to find a counselor who works well for you! I recently read that finding a counselor is like finding a good pair of jeans – you may have to try on a few before you find a good fit. This was certainly the case for me in my own therapy journey. I don’t even remember the name of the first therapist I went to (oops – sorry, kind lady!), and while it was not a bad experience, I just didn’t feel a connection. Eventually, I found one that fit just right, and therapy has been a life-changing experience for me.

In terms of how to find a therapist, I recommend that (if you’re comfortable) you ask your family and friends who you know go to therapy if they have recommendations. There are several websites where you can search for a therapist, including Psychology Today. Focus on the Family also has a great directory if you’re looking for a Christian counselor. I recommend looking at the therapist’s website, and reading any original content they may have posted. I try to keep my site updated so clients can see that I’m active and I also try to write copy that will give visitors to the site an idea of who I am and how I think.

In terms of qualities to look for, it can vary from person to person. I do think some qualities that every potential client should look for in a therapist are empathy, active listening, and adaptability. Therapy is most effective when it’s client-directed. A good therapist will allow you (the client) to determine what treatment goals to focus on, and will pace the therapy in accordance to your readiness. Ultimately, therapy is meant to be a relationship between you and your therapist, and if you feel uncomfortable in any way or just a lack of connection, pay attention to that. It doesn’t necessarily mean that person’s a bad therapist, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re not ready to start counseling – it just means you need to keep trying on therapist-jeans.

If you have any questions about the therapy process or how I work as a therapist, feel free to contact me at 314-392-2895. I’d be happy to discuss if I’m a good fit for you, or point you in the direction of someone I think you’d work well with!