Recently, I’ve been talking with more of my clients about the idea of a window of tolerance. What is a window of tolerance you ask? When we’re in our window of tolerance, it does not mean we’re not experiencing stress, anxiety, fear or any difficult emotion. It means that we are able to tolerate those …
Adults
Fear of Drowning in Pain
Some of the most common emotions that come up in my work with Christian women are anxiety, anger, grief, and guilt. Obviously, these are not fun emotions for anyone to experience, which is what lands them in my office. They want new ways to cope with difficult feelings so that they can live vibrant and …
Practicing Gratitude When You Don’t Feel Grateful
Halloween is over. Time to put away the pumpkins and put up the Christmas trees! For many of us, the holiday season brings joy and memories of childhood delight, time with loved ones, and special holiday traditions. There are times in our lives, however, where these seasons seem cloaked with pain and sadness. We may …
On “Dying to Self”
Matthew 16:24: “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.’” Luke 9:23: “Then he said to them all: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.’” Galatians 2:20: “I have …
“Demoting” Anxiety
I really love the idea depicted here of giving anxiety a “performance review.” (To check out the illustrator’s Instagram page, click here). I think this would be a worthwhile exercise to consider anxiety’s performance in my everyday life! We often conflate the emotions of anxiety and fear, as if they are synonymous. They are similar, …
Breaking Up Well
Breaking up sucks. Even if you know it’s the right thing or needs to happen or the relationship is not healthy. It still sucks. I remember the last time I broke up with someone. It was not a healthy relationship. After the break-up conversation, I remember feeling relieved, like a weight had been lifted off …
Try Softer Review
Today, I’m sharing my review of the book, “Try Softer,” by Aundi Kolber. I knew I wanted to read this book the minute I heard about it, as Kolber’s approach to counseling sounds similar to mine. We both nerd out over how the Bible and biblical principles integrate and speak into evidenced-based counseling, and this …
Wouldn’t Ignoring This Be Easier?
I’ll often ask clients what they do with difficult thoughts and feelings they experience. A lot of times, I’m met with the response that they ignore them. And I get it. Sometimes ignoring our difficult thoughts and feelings does seem like it’d be easier than allowing ourselves to notice them. And by noticing them, I’m …
What If I Love My Partner, But Not Their Family?
It’s the holiday season, and if you’re in a serious relationship, there’s a good chance you’ll be interacting with your partner’s family. Soooo…what if you don’t like them? Or they’re difficult to be around? And what does it mean for the future of your relationship if you don’t like them? Some things to keep in …
“I Feel Stupid For Not Noticing This Sooner”
I’ve talked to many clients (and friends and loved ones) who have lamented that they didn’t pay closer attention to potential red flags early in a dating relationship. At the end of the relationship or after the relationship is already ended, they report feeling stupid for continuing the relationship, ignoring or downplaying behavior that ended …