Today, I’m sharing my review of the book, “Try Softer,” by Aundi Kolber. I knew I wanted to read this book the minute I heard about it, as Kolber’s approach to counseling sounds similar to mine. We both nerd out over how the Bible and biblical principles integrate and speak into evidenced-based counseling, and this …
St. Louis
Wouldn’t Ignoring This Be Easier?
I’ll often ask clients what they do with difficult thoughts and feelings they experience. A lot of times, I’m met with the response that they ignore them. And I get it. Sometimes ignoring our difficult thoughts and feelings does seem like it’d be easier than allowing ourselves to notice them. And by noticing them, I’m …
What If I Love My Partner, But Not Their Family?
It’s the holiday season, and if you’re in a serious relationship, there’s a good chance you’ll be interacting with your partner’s family. Soooo…what if you don’t like them? Or they’re difficult to be around? And what does it mean for the future of your relationship if you don’t like them? Some things to keep in …
“I Feel Stupid For Not Noticing This Sooner”
I’ve talked to many clients (and friends and loved ones) who have lamented that they didn’t pay closer attention to potential red flags early in a dating relationship. At the end of the relationship or after the relationship is already ended, they report feeling stupid for continuing the relationship, ignoring or downplaying behavior that ended …
“Attached” Review
This month, I’m reviewing the book, “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love” by Amire Levine, M.D. and Rachel Heller, M.A. I picked this book up at the suggestion of a couple of clients who read it and reported they saw so much of themselves and their …
Fear is a Liar?
There’s a song on Christian radio right now called “Fear is a Liar.” I’ve heard this phrase used in other Christian contexts before, and if you’re a millennial like me, you may remember those popular t-shirts and binder stickers in middle school emblazoned with the slogan, “NO FEAR.” Whenever I hear this phrase from Christians, …
Why “Go With Your Gut” is Hard to Hear When You Have Anxiety
“Just go with your gut.” Has anyone ever told you this when you’ve felt anxious or unsure of what to do? I don’t know about you, but for me, hearing this has never helped decrease my anxiety. I do believe that God has gifted us with intuition. Unfortunately, anxiety can hijack my intuition, and I …
Living & Loving After Intimate Betrayal
“Living & Loving after Betrayal: How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment” by Steven Stosny, PhD Dr. Stosny describes how intimate betrayal—be it through deceit, infidelity, or emotional abuse—impacts our ability to heal, live according to our deepest values, and fully engage in important relationships. He seeks to offer a path …
What do we mean when we say we want a man who will “lead” in our relationship?
When I talk to Christian women about qualities they want in a partner, I will often hear that they want someone who is a leader and will lead their family well. Leadership is an admirable quality to desire in a partner, but it can also—unfortunately—be used to manipulate and silence one partner in the relationship. …
Imposter Syndrome
Not a day passes without me looking at my children—at least once—and thinking, “How am I a mom?” Obviously, I know how I’m a mom, but I am often flabbergasted by the enormous task I’ve been given of raising two small humans. From what I’ve heard from other moms, I think it’s pretty common to be told …